why i want to quit music

I was talking to a few friends about why I want to quit music today, and it just made perfect sense to make a blog post about it, so here goes!

If you've known me for a while, you know that I used to post music and perform frequently before the pandemic and hopelessly dreamed of establishing a career in music. I started out by performing because I was immensely passionate about writing music and I just did not have an outlet for the songs that I wrote. So I gathered, that the only way I could put out my songs was as if I performed them myself. I picked up a guitar, learned to play the basic chords, and started playing at every possible open mic. I had so much fun... until I didn't. Once the pandemic commenced, I was forced to change my platform from real-time stages to social media. Looking back, that's when I reckon things began going south. The constant checking of analytics, the meticulous hair and make-up before filming, taking three hours to record a thirty-second clip, the imposter syndrome and culminating insecurities were just NOT it for me. No matter what I did, someone else did better. It was an endless cycle of toxic validation seeking and unsatisfactory fulfilment. At that point, I realised this just wasn't the relationship I wanted to have with music- music that I so deeply loved to create.

By then I had completed a song I wanted to put out, so that's what I did. I put out the song I'd worked so hard on and disappeared from my music account for months to work on my mental health. I was hoping to build back a healthy dynamic with content created on the internet and return when I did! In that process, I decided to express myself elseways and a blog had always been a pipe dream, so I channelled my energy into doing this! Before I began this blog, I rewired my beliefs into not caring about analytics and reception. I was determined to do something, solely because I adored it and that was the best decision I'd ever made. I'll admit, I still *occasionally* post my singing, but it's not out of ambition for a career but because I momentarily feel inspired to.

So if you as an artist, are looking for external validation for your art, this is your sign to stop and re-focus on why you truly started in the first place!

love,

A