one day: a diary note

one day, I won't be second to something. one day, I won't be second to someone. I'd be my mother's favourite child, my father's only son and someone's only choice. one day I'll be born into a household that really, *REALLY* wanted a child, wanted me, as their child. one day, I'd have birthdays that are celebrated, hips that are beyond tolerated, a family that isn't merely blood. one day, I'll turn eighteen again and May 4th wouldn't be the one day everybody I love, is busy or tired. one day, I'd bring as much joy to my parents as my little puppy brings cheer to this dull house, making it a home. one day, I wouldn't be "too sensitive" because I feel things immensely, I would just be empathetic. one day, when I'm seven again, my older brother wouldn't be an hour-long niggling away when I wish to welcome him to my pretend kitchen to serve the imponderable carrot soup I'd made, as per the menu on tuesdays. one day, jobs would mean more than money and friendships would be more than an escape. my body would be more than prison and relationships would mean more than validation.

One day, maybe I will be born again, but this time, I will be loved.

love,

A